Uh... thanks?

Talking Radio w/ Moving Mouth

admin — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:47:23 +0000

A talking radio with moving mouth… Yes, an AM/FM radio with red plastic lips that move along “with” the song or commercial… The lips really just open and close, they don’t really mouth out the words…

My mom gave me this for my birthday when I was 19, I think. I really have no idea why… I’ve never used it. It’s just weird… And totally pointless.

And does anyone know what “RHD-2142″ on the box means?

So yea, uhh… thanks, mom…

Thanks.com Gift Certificate

admin — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:37:56 +0000

I ran into your site while looking for a way to sell a useless gift: a $50 certificate to Thanks.com. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s this evil thing that companies use to say “thanks” to employees after a project is done. Instead, it wastes the employee’s time looking for something to spend it on - there’s nothing in their catalog worth $50, and not much anyone would want or need.

For example, I could buy the Hamilton Beach Icy Treats Maker with my $50 certificate, or go to Amazon.com and get it for $29.99

Or perhaps I should get a HoMedics 5-Motor Back Massager with Heat? Oh wait, instead of my $50 thanks.com certificate, I could get it for $24.99 at Circuit City.com

Or how about Harry Potter book 7? Surely that’s worth $50, right? Oh wait, you can get it for $19.94 at overstock.com.

See their catalog of crap here.

Last project, they gave us $50 Visa cards. Unfortunately, if you don’t spend them within 90 days, the money starts disappearing with non-usage fees. The company also had to pay a $5 activation fee for each card, so they spent $55 to give us each $50. That seemed pretty stupid, but thanks.com is much worse. The company pays $50 to give us an average of $25 worth of stuff we don’t need.

I’d be so much happier to receive an envelope with cash in it. Is anyone ever disappointed to receive cash? Why do corporations insist on doing this stuff?

Crickets

admin — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:36:40 +0000

Nothing but crickets chirping around here for two months. I’m really not that surprised. I assume everyone received nothing but perfect Valentine’s Day gifts. I guess there are no tragic stories of Easter bunnies running amuck terrorizing small children. Don’t forget, Mother’s Day is just around the corner on May 11th.

Pampered Chef ?

admin — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 12:59:04 +0000

I have absolutely NO IDEA what this is. Neither does anyone else who has visited my apartment and been asked, by me, with a puzzled expression on my face ‘Have you got any idea what this thing is?’

I received it with a bunch of other nice Pampered Chef kitchen gadgets from two friends as a joint housewarming gift. They were all pretty self explanatory; knife, spatula, julienne peeler… however, even on the product website I couldn’t find an answer to what this particular item is. An ashtray? Candle holder? Paperweight? I’m clueless!

While I appreciate the thought behind this strange and seemingly useless gift, I just keep wondering ‘What the hell is this!?’ Maybe I’ll just put it on the coffee table as a conversation piece… it sure plays that part well.

Monkey Hat?

admin — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 12:48:32 +0000

My son got this “hat” for Christmas. It was all I could do to keep it on him long enough to take a picture. (I bribed with M&Ms).

Valentine’s Day

admin — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:24:47 +0000

Just a reminder that Valentine’s Day is quickly sneaking up on us. While we hope you don’t, if you happen to receive something “unique” on February 14 don’t hesitate to send it in. You know you want to.

Shiatsu Massage Pillow

admin — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:47:48 +0000

This is the “Shiatsu Massage Pillow.” I’m convinced that it’s designed, built and marketed by chiropractors… because after using it, that’s where I ended up. Just look at the damn thing. Pure evil. It’s looking at you.

Furry Shoe Lamp

admin — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 05:47:43 +0000

“Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather said my daughter, that is if you could find one big enough (her words!! Not mine) when she unwrapped this SO NOT A CHRISTMAS PRESENT - and tried not to show her feelings of utter shock and revulsion at this epitome of bad taste, crap and tat!!”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Read the full description at eBay UK (while it’s still up).

El Caganer

admin — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 05:01:29 +0000

“It is called the ‘Caganer’ which roughly translates to ‘The Pooper’. Although the history of him is quite vague, some say that he is there fertilizing the ground, while others point out that during all events in history, someone, somewhere, was pooping. I have to admit that this is true, but still a little odd to see it in a Nativity. Here is a picture of the Caganer that we got as a gift this year.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Read more about El Caganer.

Spam Giftset

admin — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 05:08:00 +0000

“Hmm. I have to say that I have never received anything quite like this before. I guess it’s good to know I won’t starve if all the restaurants are closed for Chosuk.”

Apparently Spam is quite popular in Korea. You can read more about this very special gift at DaveGil.com.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The site this gift was found on is no longer available. Perhaps he ate all of this in one sitting and is now living with the repercussions.